It appears to have been nearly a month since I last wrote on here… Seriously? Where does the time go?
Health update – well with the working at home, no traveling about etc. things had been getting a lot better then… this weekend was rubbish. Felt unsteady and not right for all of it and had two vicious vertigo attacks one on Saturday evening and one on Sunday morning. I can’t really see a trigger frankly but that’s often where I think I’ve got a trigger – I thought it was the train travel and then boom they hit again where that clearly can’t be the trigger.
Other news. The sale of my mother-in-law’s house continues. We’ve been down and had a few more clear-out days with the family in tow or on our own. One of those wasn’t brilliant, it was the anniversary of my brother-in-law’s death and we found a load of his old memorabilia still in the house. Mrs F was very upset understandably – it might be 36 years ago he died but it hurts her just as much. Anyway I took over on some of that including removing his old vinyl record collection (CDs weren’t even a thing back then) and via an old blogging pal on Facebook found a new home for them which was good. We’ve engaged the services of another pal who can do house clearances etc and he’s on the case to start that in a week or so.
Not much else – oh we had a new carpet fitted which was frankly a nightmare. Our house was converted (i.e. a wall was knocked down and some dividing doors removed in another place) to a large open plan layout in the 70s. We have 8 doors in the house that open into rooms … every single one of them opens on to the one carpet. So when you want it replaced it means your options on where to move stuff to are limited. So garage was filled up, music room stacked and the spare bedroom likewise. We’re back to being straight now but it was chaos for a few days. We did have a bit of a clear out though as part of it including finding this… my school photo of the 6th form when I was there in 1981! I did stick it on Facebook but I never stayed in contact with many from school so didn’t get much response to trying to locate folks.
Also I finally did get a good day in the music room and recorded a couple of new tunes which are up at Soundcloud if anyone wants to go listen.
It’s been a while since I gave an update on things in the Furtheron house other than my cycle of vertigo attacks.
Firstly – my daughter is now fully recovered from her operation. Having removed the cyst with a large abscess on it she was left with a hole in her back. Yes literally – they have to leave deep wounds like that open to heal bottom up. She thought a couple of weeks. First day they unpacked it and repacked it was a shock when they said – “No you need to come every day. And probably for several weeks… if not months”.
In the end Mrs F, as ever, stepped into the breach. She is a trained first aider (she never tires of telling us that) but she went to a couple of appointments watched the nurses and therefore they agreed for her to do it some weekends as they only dealt with real serious issues then. They were impressed with her skills and so my daughter relied on her and the wound clinic nurses with going to the clinic less and less. They had to change packing to ones with honey in and then iodine to make it heal evenly as they wanted but a couple of weeks ago – 12 weeks after the op – she was discharged all ok. She’s back to going to the gym and swimming now. She’s very pleased – well less so with the scar and the dip in her back but small price to pay.
Mother-in-law seems to continue to be happy at the home. It goes up and down but regularly my wife comes home from visiting saying she was playing cards, doing a jigsaw with others etc. We put her house on the market after New Year and seem to have sold it pretty much instantly. Hopefully that will all go through, as ever much can go wrong in a chain like this but we’re flexible our end on dates etc. so we shouldn’t be a problem. I’ve got much of the money stuff sorted out too. Still lose ends on that which is typical but we’re getting there.
In doing that we’ve been clearing out. Found tons of old photos which we chucked in a large box and took to my mother-in-law. She said “You can make a bonfire with that lot”. She personifies ungratefulness at times. Also that included her wedding photos. How can someone married over 40 year and widowed over 15 now be so dismissive? Trying to figure out what to do with the slides we’ve grabbed too. Might get a viewer and then decide on getting some scanned in via someone who has a slide scanner I think.
Still we also found my brother-in-laws vinyl collection which was great. Some overlap with mine in the Led Zep, Pink Floyd etc. area but then a whole host of late 70s punk. Now I liked a bit of Punk so nabbed the copy of Clash London’s Calling but much of it not for me. So I’ll be seeking out via Facebook etc. anyone who is into that to see if they want to buy the collection or a substantial part of it. It has simply sat in the cases since he passed away in January 1982 so some are virtually unplayed probably.
Some other great finds included an old Stanley no 6 plane. I’d been looking for a second hand one on ebay on recently! It only needed one bit replaced for under a tenner and all good to go – result! An Scrabble game that’s provided a couple of Saturday night entertainment and a vintage monopoly set my son has taken possession of along with some old binoculars.
Today is Sunday 21st January 2018. Another day, another Sunday.
If you glance at this screenshot off my phone of my 12step app you’ll see that it just happens to be my 5000th day sober. One day at a time as they say.
I never thought about reaching goals like this when I arrived at the rehab door in the summer of 2004. I know if someone had suggested 5000 minutes sober that would have seemed a stretch especially if I wasn’t an inpatient at a treatment centre.
Now I just plod on day to day acknowledging I’m an alcoholic, someone for whom drinking just simply causes me problems I’d rather not have. Most notably that one drink will kick off an incessant craving for more as aptly encased in the saying.
One drink is too many. One hundred not enough.
If you’re on this journey, wherever you are, I take strength from your steps alongside me. Thanks for being here and reading this.
The count down is nearly finished be sure to be here tomorrow….
I’m going to do that thing that tv companies, bands, phone producers etc do when they start a count down to some big announcement to build up the excitement and tension.. so….
Four days to go!
I’ll fill you in more later … queue dramatic music and moody pose by presenter.
Isolating is a bad place for those of us in recovery to be. That’s something I’ve heard over the years. Do I believe it? Hmmm… work in progress.
One thing is true I’m currently trying an experiment in isolation myself. The update is that my Ménière’s Disease is not getting better. If anything it is getting worse. I hardly worked through December as a result. This has led to me spending a lot of time at home on my own…. isolating. Consequently I’m not going to meetings much either. I’m fearful of attacks when I’m out. When at home it is ok for me to be lying on the floor or sitting clutching a bucket to throw up into. Having now had two attacks at a couple of instances in work and one at a theatre being in public in that state is humiliating and embarrassing for everyone about me. My wife had to recently put up with me lying on the floor in a supermarket whilst she tried to deal with the shopping at the till.
Work has been good so far and we’re trying an experiment of me working totally from home rather than back off work totally. However… I’m not sure it’ll work long term.
I called the hospital to try to get another appointment. In Dec they were going to book me in for a test then consider an operation to help. But … there’s some reason they can’t do the tests currently. I’ve asked for another appointment to talk to the consultant.
So that’s where it is … or isn’t currently. So sorry I’ve not been about much but the lack of interaction in the real world seems to reflect in my lack of interaction in the on-line one too.
…possibly… maybe… sometime in the future.
The vertigo is better. Not gone not cured but better. I’m not having roaring violent attacks every few hours. I’m sort of trying to return to work but finding that a challenge at times. I’m on a slow phased return working short hours.
The tinnitus is utterly maddening most of the time now. I can only play electric guitar not plugged in even acoustic is difficult to bear.
In other news… Mother-in-law is settling into a care home. After a whole slew of stuff it was apparent to nearly everyone that returning to her typical suburban three bedroom house was a non-starter. She couldn’t see it at first but in the end came round. We’ve shifted a load of photos and mementos and a couple of bits of favourite furniture into her new home. She seems to be like it now – playing cards and bingo getting her hair done regular etc. and staff on hand 24×7 to help her and make sure she is ok.
Now we’ve got to find time to sort out all the finances and sell her house etc. Oh well – one problem solved and another load fall into your lap as a result don’t they.