In Reverse

At a meeting this week I heard the story of a member who’s recently started to come regularly having moved to the area.

Their story was like many about how whilst drinking they were unemployable, had no money, lost their licence etc etc. Then in the story they got recovery and the better jobs, good income, nice vehicles etc came to them and they are grateful to have them.

Recently as I hear stories like this I ponder how my own story is basically the reverse to this. When I started my recovery I was in a ridiculously well paid job, had brand new cars on the drive etc. Over the last 15 years I’ve left that job and taken a couple of others both times having to take substantial pay cuts. Then finally being made redundant last year. I can’t drive currently because of my menieres and we only have my wife’s car which was second hand when we bought it earlier this year.

I have no resentment over this. My good paid high powered job was only possible as it was fuelled by my alcohol bolstered bullshit. The move down responsibility and pay was truly a proper reflection of where I probably ought to be in the grand scheme. Not having a car has taught me how selfish I was when I had one. How often I drove to meetings just me in the car not helping others get there. It has taught me in reverse how grateful I ought to have been when back in the day I thought a 6 figure salary, new cars, etc were my entitlement. I’ll never get it back now but my gratitude for what I do have is massively higher today.

About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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2 Responses to In Reverse

  1. byebyebeer says:

    I always assumed I’d feel more financially secure as I got older, but that’s not the case. I wonder if the guy who gained more material riches is the norm or just a success story. I guess it depends on where you start. When I stopped drinking, I know I gained weight when everyone else was losing.

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