Don’t give up giving up

Inspired by a post at one of my regular readers – Un-Tipsy Teacher.    Thank you…

At times I’m asked my advice for people who are new to sobriety.  My only pearl of wisdom is “Don’t give up giving up”.   I nearly did.  I spent just over a year in a mess stopping, starting, controlling, changing, binging, drinking, etc. I moved from a daily top-up drinker to a binge drinker.  As that year or so progressed the binges got longer the pretence of controlling got less and the periods between them got shorter.  Also the symptoms were getting worse.  I was losing a lot of weight, I was becoming massively unreliable and in the recovery periods withdrawals were becoming a worry.  So a few short weeks before my last drink I remember consciously deciding that I had to stop trying to give up.  The effects of these repeated attempts seemed worse than the drinking every day to excess which I was trying to avoid.

Luckily there was one last attempt, one last roll of the dice.  So despite my decision I actually didn’t give up giving up and the fact I’m here today sober writing this is testament to that.  So if you are in a cycle of give up, control, stop, start etc.  “Don’t give up giving up” the next time you stop may be the time that sticks.

Also though this has continued into and throughout my recovery.  I’m not someone who simply chose not to drink because of some trivial matter.  This was major for me, drink and how it acted on my control so much of my life that stopping drinking was massive.  So I can’t then just casually look over my shoulder and say “Oh yes I used to… “.  I have to remember why I stopped, how bad it was, how bad it luckily hadn’t yet got and stay steadfast to the point that I have lost the privilege of drinking alcohol.  I simply can’t drink it any more.  So again I “Don’t give up giving up” – I continue to give up every day and hopefully today I’ll succeed again and tomorrow and the next day with any luck… as long as I remember to “Don’t give up giving up”.

 

 

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About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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8 Responses to Don’t give up giving up

  1. sillymelove says:

    This really helped me … thank you for your post I just wrote this (below) this morning…
    “I feel like I’ll never have the mindset to be happy not drinking. I feel
    like I want to just be alone with no one in my life if I have to do this
    cause it’s feels like fucking hell!”
    Today I won’t give up on giving up …

    • furtheron says:

      My best wishes for your journey. I had awful times in my first year or so where really I felt I wasn’t one that would get that serene view of life, self and the world I saw oldtimers exude. Now I’m possibly one if those together oldtimers newcomers hate but secretly desire to be like… even if now I know serenity is an elusive beast to capture and hold on to.

  2. Hi Graham!
    Thank you, back!
    I love this, and I am really glad you wrote about it.
    I tried and tried to stop, kind of. But I didn’t stop trying to give up drinking.
    And you are right…everyday I give up drinking.
    I will never give up giving up!!
    xoxo
    Wendy

  3. These insights are always fascinating to me. They are of a world I know very little about. I hang on many crosses but not the drinking cross. For that, I’m grateful.

  4. I love this perspective and it is very good universal advice. I don’t see alcohol as a privilege, however. I’m just relieved I don’t have to drink anymore, like I’m the lucky one. And when I sometimes smell hangovers on people (you know, like they have drank enough the night before to still have alcohol coming off them) I just feel bad for them.
    Anyway, yes never give up giving up, might take a while to stick but it will!

  5. Awesome thoughts.

    “Don’t give up giving up” really nails down that complex thing we need to do in simple terms. Continue to surrender, ask for help, do the next right thing. I’m glad you wrote this Graham. It’s like having myself a five minute meeting. Great reminder.

    Mark

  6. Liz Hinds says:

    It’s the same advice for lots of things ‘don’t give up.’ You have done so brilliantly. To read on facebook about the good times you have with your wife and family is cheering.

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