My own personal favourite slogan and ingrained adopted philosophy from the big book. It is in Chapter Five just after the steps are introduced. For me this was a key phrase in my early days, and still now, since I have a perfectionist streak but not in the anal-retentive perfectionism of Freudian basis. My perfectionism is … “I’ll not be able to be good enough to be at the height of what I consider the top of this activity therefore I’ll never start it”. This has over my life cost me several opportunities where I’ve walked away. I still do. For example. I don’t dance. Never ever… I’m just not good enough for me so I won’t attempt. I wish I could “dance like no-one is watching or cares.”
Anyway – also it is a great philosophy for keeping going. Even if the progress is one more day where I do or don’t do something, obviously for me in the early months just another day clinging on not drinking was progress.
I was completely reminded of this though this weekend. I was invited, along with Mrs F, to a friend’s wedding reception. He’s been sober a few years now and I remember him coming around and struggling and slipping then getting it. I particularly remember his excitement at hitting 1,000 days sober. There on Saturday he was all suited and booted, married with his little boy refusing to go to sleep etc. Progress, not perfection, but boy what progress!
Lovely family too – really warm, friendly and welcoming. I was asked a few times “How to you know each other?” His sobriety is no secret in his family but even so we still seem to speak in code, it’s the default anonymous protection isn’t it. “We’re members of the same tea drinking club” was my response. His Dad in particular was immediately gushing in his thanks. Funny how I’m seen as having helped him since I’m a bit longer sober. It don’t work like that – he has kept me sober as much as I’ve helped him. That’s truly how it works, someone a day sober helping someone who has 50years sobriety is the norm not the exception.