Ménière’s Annoyance

My Ménière’s disease has been back with a vengence recently.  A couple of weeks ago I woke in the middle of the night to a room spinning around.  That led to a horrid night of being sick and not sleeping and my poor wife having to help me through that.  About a week later I had another awful attack in the middle of the day out of nowhere – well not really as the pressure in my ear and the tinnitus has been bad since that first attack and I’d felt really unsteady earlier in the day.  But this one was awful, imagine a 2000rpm washing machine with you in it on the worst roller-coaster you can imagine.  Yep that was close to it.  I just lay on the floor hoping it would go.  After a while I crawled to the bathroom and lay there until my wife came home.  I lost the rest of that day as whilst the spinning slowed it basically didn’t stop all day and I had another spin attack (not so violent) the next day.  Since then the tinnitus and pressure have felt bad most days and I’m “walking on rubber” most of the time.  That’s a great description from the Ménière’s society which I’ve recently joined.

I’ll be honest I had two weeks basically off work over Easter but did relatively little, partly due to the problems.  I try in particular to avoid things like gardening etc. as bending up and down certainly don’t help and I think might be a trigger given two of the attacks above followed a few hours after gardening where I was bending up and down weeding.

So I’ve been feeling a bit down about it.  Which then I get annoyed a bit about – I mean there are people with many other issues that you could argue are much more of a problem than I’ve got.  This isn’t terminal.  I have all my mental faculties. etc. etc.  Easy to say but still I get angry with it which probably isn’t helping.  It has been a big topic of conversation in my recent therapy sessions.

In other news – looks like I’ve lined up at least one new placement.  Just need to go through the various stages of DBS etc. now.  I’m still pursuing others to see what happens since once I’ve finished in July with my formal studies I’ll have some more time hopefully.  My placement finishes this week but I’ve actually now completed with my clients.  So I know I need 63 more hours to get my diploma.  I’m hoping that will be all that is outstanding as I’m working hard to try and complete everything else before we formally finish in early July.

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About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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8 Responses to Ménière’s Annoyance

  1. Being a bit down is a perfectly rational response. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Knowing there are sicker people out there is cold comfort when you’re whizzing around at 200 mph.

  2. Sorry you’re feeling poorly. I know that can be debilitating, my aunt suffered with that and after an attack would have horrid headaches. Hope you’re back to normal soon. Any illness is depressing,give yourself a break.
    Sharon

  3. byebyebeer says:

    Oh no, sorry to hear you’ve been sick and really hope you feel better soon!

  4. Hi Graham,
    I am sorry you have had some rough times with your health.
    I know people have worse things than my health problems, but I am learning to be kind to myself when I feel down about them. I try to stay grateful for anything I can, as you are doing, and I also pray for other people who are suffering in the same way.
    I hope it all passes soon, and that your new placement goes through.
    xo
    Wendy

  5. JJ says:

    Having had one severe attack of vertigo about 2 years ago, I am so sorry to hear the Meniere’s has sent you for a loop again. There is nothing like that tilt-a-whirl feeling and nausea, nothing so incapacitating, nothing that obliterates your mind so swiftly.

    I often find that I start to hate my body when it does bad health things. Instead, it’s sort of nice to feel compassion for the body, undermined by its latest test of your frustration.

    This sounds extremely silly, but while retching desperately over the toilet and reeling back to bed, try saying “It’s okay body, we’ll get through this together, I’ll take care of you” and similar things. The tension of irritation and frustration release with these thoughts–worth a try. The body feels relief that you aren’t angry and someone is going to help it.

    The brain is a strange, organic thing we really know so little about. I often think our understandable anger and frustration undermine the brain’s innate healing. It wants the body to run smoothly and be well, but we hop around cursing and feeling royally pissed off that the bloody vertigo is here yet again. What if we thought differently? Than what would happen?

    I don’t know, throwing out thoughts to try…

  6. looby says:

    Bet you thought you’d got rid of feeling like that once you gave up the pop! 🙂

    Blimey that sounds awful though.

  7. Liz Hinds says:

    Your meniere’s sounds absolutely horrid. It may not be terminal but it’s so incapacitating. (I nearly wrote decapitating! And I know it’s bad but perhaps that is a bit drastic.) It’s understandable that you’re angry.

  8. mercyjm says:

    God, that sounds awful. I really can’t imagine how crap you must feel. To be honest terminal isn’t always worse, my mother died of liver cancer and just felt weary until the very last days. So don’t beat yourself up.

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