Intuitively handled situations that used to baffle us

Anyone who’s been about the rooms will know that statement.  It comes from what is commonly called “The Promises”.  Actually it is the Step 9 Promises, as there are some others in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous at various points but these are the ones often read out at meetings.

I often realise I have reached this stage in my recovery only with hindsight.  I’m having one of those reflections right now.  I am working hard on my counselling studies – sorry that is probably why, coupled with repeated hassles with my Ménière’s Disease I’ve not been writing or read much on here – we have our external assessment (read assessment and exam) in January.  We’ve just completed the mock and I’m awaiting feedback from the tutors but I was reasonably ok with it.  So I’m preoccupied with that target.  Then my son contacts and states that he has his graduation date… yes they clash.   What do I do?

Do I…

  1. go into panic meltdown, blame the world and everyone for screwing me over.  Rant and rave about it, doing nothing productive but justifying my anger on lack of a solution.
  2. ignore it hoping it’ll go away telling neither family or my training enter of the issue whilst secretly hoping something happens that’ll make it all ok
  3. Do I make some ridiculous scheme up involving lying to someone somewhere – probably my training centre, not realising that in the modern social media connected world saying I’m sick on the day to them will be exposed by my grimacing face on twitter of the like.
  4. Instantly talk to everyone.  Tell them that is a problem.  Explain that family has to come first on this occasion.  Prompt my training centre and then work with them and my peers on my course when a solution is proposed.

Yes I choose option 4 – instantly without thought.  I intuitive handled a situation that would in the past have baffled me – and given me a good excuse to stand at the bar bemoaning how life was stacked against me.

Now all that might screw this up is expecting to travel from Kent to the Midlands and back in a day on public transport in January.  Somethings I really do still struggle accepting I have no control over….

About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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7 Responses to Intuitively handled situations that used to baffle us

  1. Thank you for this demonstration of the promises. They do come true. I’ve seen them work in my life. And if I don’t read post like this, I forget how grateful I am for the life I’m living because it definitely has not always been this way, like you mentioned. Great post!

  2. Good to see you have your priorities in order. I agree with MDG. Great post.

  3. This post made me think of my son and how poorly he’s handling his life that he’s been letting snowball by doing some version of 1-3 above. His issue is he’s let his ADHD go untreated for four years and has stuck his head in the sand about it. But the one positive in trying to help him get on track outside of enabling him, I do see that I am managing to handle this situation that would’ve previously driven me to drink, so there is that.

    I’m so envious of your kids, and truly happy for you that they are doing so well 🙂

    • furtheron says:

      In truth I’m incredibly lucky to have the kids I have – and to have them in my life. At 14 my son had every right to tell me to get lost and never trouble him again. To be invited to share his success is something I am eternally grateful for but not sure I really deserve compared with others.

  4. HealthyJenn says:

    Wow…I don’t attend AA, my recovery is self-managed…but just WOW…I could have written this same post. I’m coming up on two years alcohol free and over this past Thanksgiving I made a 1000 mile road-trip where I was just AMAZED at how all of the little things and challenges involved in past family trips that used to just DESTROY me…well I just handled them intuitively. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your success.

  5. JJ says:

    Oh man, I once threw my sewing machine on the floor back in the day when I was frustrated. I used to stick my head in the sand, afraid to make phone calls, but you know, taking action and telling the truth about what’s going on is much better. You don’t have to be in AA to identify with this post, it’s the good old human condition that we all experience. Good to think about.

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