After being absent pretty much for two years from what I used to call my AA home group I went back the other night. Hmmm… same room, some same faces but then the majority ones I either didn’t know at all or were at least not known by me well. Honestly – I felt like a stranger in my front room. Now circumstances have changed so that the commitment I had that kept me away has been removed but in all honesty there is another room I’m feeling much more at home in since I’ve built a new family there.
I’m a bit torn at the moment. If I’m honest I think the best thing is for me to stick with the group that I’ve come to regard as a home group over the last couple of years rather than try to recreate a past that has gone and use the old home group as a “top up” meeting one I drop in and out of when I need additional meetings in a week. Part of me feels a bit sad about this loss but then again part of me is feeling it is a good sign of progress for me. Life changes, it moves on, I move on, the world and universe move on, the bit that is great for me is the early clear acceptance of that change and a willingness to look inward and say “Ok, so it is different. What are you most happiest with as a solution for you?” I have wasted so much of my time in life in today trying to figure out how to recapture yesterday in tomorrow and just repeating that depressive cycle.