Inside Out

I listened to a terrific story last night in my home group meeting.  The speaker is a lady who from teenage years through her 20s and 30s was an alcoholic and addict, it nearly cost her her children and her life.  I was struck as she talked about how my view of life, me, my place in the universe and everything else has changed in my recovery.

When I was drinking I sought something external to me, drink primarily but other things to to fulfil me.  Make me fill better about myself and my place in the world.  It never worked, my last binge was on a success where my wife text to say we could celebrate.  My head just went “My life is still shit!” and I hit the booze.

Now though I realise that nothing external can ever make me feel whole that wholeness has to come from within and within is something in me that desires life and being better.  I attach to it and follow the path it points out, better some days than others but it is there.  Having looked inside and seen that when I now look out to the rest of the world I can cope a bit better with it, try to do my little bit at making some of it better for those near me and at least doing my utmost to ensure I do no damage to others as I walk my path.

I’ve completely turned my view and perspective through 180° … see… Inside Out… I was so lucky to go to the meeting and hear this inspirational lady. She didn’t set out to inspire me but her story and this thought is truly inspiration for me. I’ve had a bit more sparkly outlook on life today since thinking this.

About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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4 Responses to Inside Out

  1. SoberMom says:

    And now you have paid it forward and inspired me (as usual).

    Thanks Furtherton.


  2. Untipsyteacher says:

    And me too!
    I love this, “Being Inside Out”!

  3. C says:

    So true, Furtheron. I think many believe that fulfillment can only come from external sources, be it money, looks, drink, cars or whatever, and we live in a culture which encourages that attitude for commercial reasons. It really is so much more simple if you can just find it within – and it’s fre! – but ironically that much harder to push against the tide. Worth it, though!

  4. JJ says:

    Yes, this was good to hear. I don’t drink but I eat junk or drift into buying books and such online and then pull back and say “What is this really about?” It’s usually anxiety or boredom; it used to be loneliness but the paradox is that when you stay with yourself and be alone you don’t get lonely.

    Success–that’s a tough one. I wonder if it’s because it gets us concentrating on outside influence and opinion? Success is something to be celebrated but it flings us into a mode of dependence on outside things. That’s a bit of a revelation, eh? We think “I’m afraid of success” but it really means we are afraid of others taking it away, and not what makes us a success. Basically no one can take something away that we have within, it’s always there. Everything that makes us successful is ever inside us, so it’s nonsense to be afraid of it or afraid that others will take it away again.

    That does bring a sparkle.

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