I just spoke with someone who is 100 days sober today! Hooray! What an achievement.
They had a drinking dream last night and were a little shaken up by it. Luckily I’ve not had one for a while but have had a couple of recurrent ones – at least in theme over the years.
Early on I was in some awful concrete jungle – think 1960s English New Town development, all concrete walkways and subways. Every pub I tried to get into had no windows and a locked door. Without over analysing clearly this was me missing the drink and that demon inside me wanting me to wake up in the morning and say “That feeling of not being able to get a drink I need to just drink today to take it away”. Luckily I never gave in.
Then for a long time the dream was something like me in some place and suddenly there was a drink in my hand – often a half pint of lager – which clearly proved it was a dream… when did I ever drink a half of anything!!! I’d realise I was halfway down the half and think “Oh well I’ve started to drink now I’ll carry on”. I’d order another one. Again trying to trap me into waking up thinking the dream was real and that I’d started drinking and therefore just carry on. I didn’t fall for that one either.
Although I’ve not had one in a few months now the last one was where I actually planned to drink, decided that was better than life without a drink and knowingly picked up the first drink. I think the demon’s getting more desperate now frankly just screaming “I need you to drink damn you!”
Here is a very odd aside I’ve noticed about all my dreams (and some of them I’ll certainly never reveal on here btw…;-)). I gave up smoking when in my early 20s just after the man who would have been my brother-in-law died aged 21. Although nothing was said at the time for some reason I linked it to smoking. He had increased his smoking becoming a regular daily smoker in the few months before his death. I’ve read subsequently on the phenomenon of sudden adult death syndrome and there is some evidence that points to a link with taking up, increasing or living in a space where there is smoking happening a lot. Anyway I quit. However almost every dream I used to have I was smoking in it. Right up until I got sober – which was about 20 years later. However from the moment I stopped drinking I’ve never been smoking in my dreams at all drinking related or not. I think it is the addict part of my psyche there – for years it tried to entice me back to the vice I’d kicked, smoking, whilst revelling that I was a drinker. Stop the drinking which was a much bigger addiction for me and the focus switched instantly and persistently. Whilst I’ve no intention to try the experiment I do wonder if I started drinking again would I start smoking in my dreams again as that demon refocused its efforts?