Yesterday I shared Karen’s post from Mended Musings.

I have to say I suffered no abuse as a child or as an adult.  The closest to that would be my metal work teacher hitting me on the head with a rubber mallet when I was about 12 and calling me “a spastic” in front of the whole class.  I felt so small and hated him so much but frankly in the scheme of things if that is the worst case of anything I can remember then boy I’ve led a lucky life.

But really shouldn’t everyone really be able to expect what I have had?  The level of coverage of historic abuse scandals and the issues we seem as a country of being incapable to deal with is frankly more than a little disturbing.

But also adults.  I read online the other day a plea from a man who was in an abusive relationship with a female partner and felt he had nowhere to turn.  Others more qualified were counselling him on the organisations he could approach to seek help.  I think that male abuse by females is probably a much much larger problem than we as a society are willing to admit to.  I think it is belittled etc. and if you are a man being abused that can’t help you look around and feel any degree of confidence that you can start to ask for help .

To that end here is a very interesting video recently posted up.   Watch it through and note the different reactions of those around to these two scenarios.

About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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7 Responses to Abuse

  1. Jenn says:

    Me and my dumb phone… I meant to hit reply to your comment on my post but accidently hit delete 😦 I was going say that would be so frustrating! It’s hard to lose games that way… I’ve been to games like that when it’s been freezing and snowing.lol. But I still love it! Soccer is the only thing I will stand out in the rain, cold, or snow for for two hours. Do you go to a lot of soccer games?

  2. Jenn says:

    There is a guy in the program I work for who was abused by his mom and then most recently by a ex girlfriend. He was fine with talking about his mom but felt more ashamed about the girlfriend because he thought that didn’t happen to guys… Which makes me sad because this abuse happens a lot to male adults and they do t speak up which means they don’t always get the help they need. Abuse is abuse and I wish there wasn’t such a stigma with males feeling ashamed or embarrassed if they were abused by a significant other. It doesn’t make them weak at all.

  3. sherryd32148 says:

    There was recently a news experiment here in the states similar to the one you posted. It was apalling how few people intervened when the abuser was a woman and the abused a man. If sexual abuse against children is silent than abuse against men is deaf, mute and blind!

    Again….we need to be talking about this everywhere. A lot.


  4. As someone abused by her mother, I would say women are just as able to be horrible abusers as men. Sometimes they are just sneakier about it, which just contributes to the secrets and confusion for the abused. I’m sure the men abused by their significant others felt the abuse sneak up on them. I hope everyone who has been a victim of abuse can find someone compassionate to talk to. The isolation of abuse does a lot of damage.

  5. daisyfae says:

    As a small part of my job, i volunteered to serve as a facilitator for small group sessions regarding sexual assault prevention. One thing i learned through the training was that despite the fact that it is mostly women who suffer sexual assault, for MEN who are victims there is simply no societal context for them to find support…. They are just as victimized, but have absolutely no recourse – frequently being treated as fools for complaining about it. This is an issue in the US as well…

    • furtheron says:

      When I said society I meant that quite broadly – like you say they may be the minority but they get the abuse twice over since there is seemingly hardly anyone who’ll take their plight seriously

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