I’ve not been very active on this blog as I’ve been active on the other blog due to some recent action on the music/guitar scene.
However the course continues apace. We are preparing for our first series of sessions with a peer where that person will bring an issue to discuss with you. Over three sessions we’ll listen to them and try to assist them in looking for their solution to it.
Suddenly that has got me really thinking. This is real stuff – to date every session we’ve done has been with a scenario that the “client” role plays with. But… this is real stuff. I’ve said it again haven’t I… this is real stuff! I’m both really excited about the prospect of using the skills and theory I’ve been learning over the last year and a bit and also concerned about the responsibility placed on me to be considerate of the other person, this is real feelings and important to them, I have to strictly adhere to concerns about confidentiality and where as I may have asked the “client” if talking has helped their response has been “play acting”. Now it won’t be.
The course tutor has made much about “your process”. What is going on inside you? Acknowledging your feelings, working through what that has meant for you in the moment but also looking at the underlying issues around what had led to this feeling. This maybe prejudice you’ve grown up with, an inherent dislike of the topic being discussed or something from your past that has triggered reliving an emotion related to that event…. or lots of reasons. I’ve been living this mode of operation for a number of years now, I can see that my stint in rehab, the model of this kind of analysis that my eyes were opened to and the encouragement of the 12 step programme to continue to looking inwardly at myself and my process in dealing with life is actually a considerable advantage to me at this point in the course. It was clear in the discussion that some of the group were somewhat dumbfounded by the need to look beyond the feeling. Funny how my inability to deal with feelings for decades of my life actually now is an advantage in something as I’ve had to learn a completely different way of dealing with emotions based on a need to be able to work with them safely to sustain a reliable recovery.
So looking further beyond the “excitement” and “concern” (read fear!) I have also “optimism” and “hope” in this. That is my process today.