Book review… Daddy’s Disease / Mommy’s Disease

Carolyn Hannan Bell contacted me asking me whether I’d review her books and feature them on here.  To be honest I’m not one for regularly doing this kind of thing… however …   I was attracted as the books are aimed at the children of alcoholics and I thought that more than worthy of a look.

Both books are essentially the same story tweaked to be appealing to the different genders – you could get into arguments about stereotyping here – surely many girls play computer games blah blah…. but I think it a good idea to have the option.

You see the world through the eyes of the child trying to understand why one of their parents seemingly doesn’t love them enough to stay with them, to honour their promises to them etc.

The books are short only about 45 pages and with some nice large illustrations.  The concepts introduced are difficult for any young child to grasp but that is the reality of alcoholic addiction anyway – be fair I still have many adults who say “Surely you could have one drink now and not have a problem”.  However the issues of abandonment, the desire for drink being all consuming and overwhelming for the sufferer are all covered and more.  Frankly really valuable books that I’m sure would help children with an alcoholic parent comes to terms with some of their issues when used sensitively with a caring adult to discuss the issues and how they relate to the story and character in the book.

I heartedly endorse them and hope they do help some kids through a traumatic time.

For more info go to Carolyn’s site – www.alcoholismhurtskids.com

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About furtheron

Music and guitar obsessive who is a recovering alcoholic to boot
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2 Responses to Book review… Daddy’s Disease / Mommy’s Disease

  1. I still have a hard time with the kids thing…even though I don’t think my oldest remembers me picking up a drink and certainly the little one hasn’t seen me pick up. I think that the memories or more directly, the idea of what COULD have happened to my child still haunts me at times. I don’t play into it much, but it does pop up now and then. Or, I think about what if I were still drinking? How would my kids be like? I think of the times I disappointed my son because I was drunk. Ugh. Hard to even write this, but it’s good to examine. Perhaps I will look at this book. Maybe not now, but I am very glad that it’s been written.

    Thanks for sharing this, Graham.

    Paul

    • furtheron says:

      It is something that hit me sometime back… I know how it affected my son. One of the darkest nadir moments was a row with him a few weeks before the end – he was a 13 years old, that great age! He’d annoyed his Mum by not doing something, or doing something I can’t remember. I remember chasing him into his room and telling him he’d never amount to anything as he didn’t look people in the eye and tell the truth… I then said he was one of the reasons I drank. I can never take that back – but it hurts me so much to write that now. He visited on my second weekend in rehab. Got lunch and sat down, I was so glad to see him and my wife. He looked me square in the eye whilst I gushed about how great the place was, he cut across me and just said “Is this going to fucking work”. I’ll excuse his profanity – I’d driven him to it. Dagger to the heart…

      Now about 2-3 years ago my then 16 year old daughter is talking to her 8 year sober dad. The topic came up about my alcoholism. The time was right I said “Look I can’t take back how it was, or what I did or said then but I just want you to know I really am truly sorry” (or words like that). She said “It is ok Dad you weren’t that bad”. My ego soared, see SuperDad even when a raging pisshead. Then she told me how as a little girl she’d lock herself, shaking and crying in the bathroom whilst I raged about the house screaming and throwing things. Her big brother would knock on the door and ask if she was ok. I sat there, in a coffee shop, and just wept which embarrassed her greatly.

      So I know how much you affect the children. I don’t deserve their continued love but I do treasure it and their unbelievable compassion in forgiving the sins of the father.

      My real Step 9 isn’t saying that I was sorry but is spending each day now sober and not behaving like that to them or others again. That is how I live the programme of AA I didn’t just do it once to get sober.

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