How would I describe how I feel at the moment? Stressed! Manic! That’ll do.
I’ve drifted along for a while quiet happily just drifting with the tide really. Work has been largely ok just drifting… course has been … drifting along ok and life in general just… drifting.
However suddenly everything seems to have clicked into overdrive. There is a deadline of 31st of March for something crucial at work but I only work two days a week and that is Tues/Wed – so today (26th) is actually my deadline as I’ll not be back into the office until 1st April. Now one of the things that really really REALLY annoys me about where I work is that everything is last minute. You remind people, you set them an earlier deadline etc. but everyone waits until the 11th hour then runs around manically to fix it. It really bugs me, it is endemic in the place frankly.
So I’m really annoyed when I got to work yesterday and people were like – I’ll get to that later in the week, deadline is Monday. GRRRRR!! I told you I’m not here get it done now! And I don’t feel I’m doing a good job as a result of all that. Plus some other things are meaning my two days in the office are a big mad at the moment. I’m determined not to start thinking – “I’ll catch up on that at home” since
- they agreed to only 2 days
- they only pay me for 2 days!
Also on the course there are now assignment deadlines, a deadline to prepare my portfolio of work for an initial review, mock exams looming, official assessment sessions etc. Gulp! Luckily I’ve got ahead of the curve on the assignment but now I really need to let it go and focus on the other stuff.
Oh yes and I’m off to Rome next week for a few days for Mrs F’s 50th – then there is her 50th – then there is Easter…
So I need to let go. Do the things I really have to that I really can – most of the work stuff can be consigned to the bin marked “Do what you can and accept the results”. However I am finding myself waking early and worrying… I hate that feeling. Some I know live to be in that state of perpetual on the edge I don’t I much prefer drifting but I think I’ve a few weeks to wait until I’m back into drifting mode.